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Do the work

Go to http://www.allyresourceguide.com

Here’s why

Dm me if you would like to do this with me. AllyResourceGuide.Com .You have to purchase one for yourself tho. No cheating 😅. I have followed her account for a few months and she has really helped me open my eyes to my own biases and learn how to challenge biases in others without getting hot under the collar or avoiding.

We can make the world a better place by doing the work on ourselves first.

doTheWork

This is for equality it is not for preferential treatment. !!
If you think racism is over-hyped that is part of the problem. It’s real . And to deny this experience of a person that doesn’t look, act, walk, talk, believe like you, is gaslighting and it is also part of the problem. If you’re not a minority race, then you actually don’t know what racism is. Bc you’re white. ..

And no, white people, can’t have racism directed at them (google why & read further )

Can white people be the target of crimes and harmful/hurtful prejudice towards them and have bad things happen to them at the hands of a minority and/or bc they are white?? Yes. That is a SEPARATE issue . I’m not asking you to do a guide on THAT issue .

The conflation I notated above ,is also another form of gaslighting and part of the problem, meant to derail people OFF the real issues.

Racism is Racism to be discussed within the confines of systematic Racism. Not your personal story, of how so and so was really mean to you, or you didn’t get promoted bc you were white and it went to a non white. Yes this happens. !! But again, that’s a guidance counselor /therapist/Human Resources issue. Not a systematic racism issue.

Dismantling racism will not take away from your life experiences . I promise you, it will only ENHANCE them.

I know there is a fear. Keep going.!!!

And no, just bc Beyoncé and Jay Z are rich rich and President Obama was a President for 8 years ..doesn’t mean , that racism doesn’t exist. (I’ve seen this as an argument )

Wealthy Black people doesn’t equal zero racism.

And no , just bc you grew up poor and underprivileged in your own community doesn’t mean you didn’t benefit from some white privilege(s) (I know it’s a prickly word. I prickled up like a porcupine when I first heard that word. )
It’s not a ‘pretty fun phrase’ like ‘hashtag blessed pumpkin spice for life’ and it’s not mean tto be, it’s meant to make you prickly !TO MAKE YOU THINK.

There is No need to take personally. again. It’s not about YOU (personally.) I had a messed up childhood and odds stacked against me in many ways, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t benefit from the color of my skin bc I did. Period. It’s really that simple. Saying I had white privilege or advantages .. is a fact . It’s not an indictment of my moral character or fiber of my being as a common decent human ,nor is it on yours !

Okay enough of the soap box. Buy the guide and dm me if you’re interested in doing with me .

Ps.
And if this post makes you mad for some reason . Okay. Cool. I get it. It challenges us to look at whiteness. That’s a place to start . Feel that feeling, and ask yourself why does this post make ME mad?

I also hesitate A LOT before I post stuff like this bc I am white and I have seen the comments on other white perspective/think pieces on this topic and they are hurtful! . From all angles of the issue:

‘What a lib …. bleeding liberal … liberal elitist’
‘wow her white priv is showing !!’

Basically , bc I’m not posting about puppies and rainbows and funny stuff .. people need to poke holes so what’s the point of it all? Why put myself out there ?

Bc I can and I care and if I help one person change their point of view this a little .. maybe I’m helping Society just a little .

This feeling is most likely fear. Fear that in this journey of dismantling racism , you’ll lose your whiteness or a piece of who YOU are People will want to argue with you and that sucks..
It also hurts to see that what our ancestors have done over the years and wonder if your ancestors were bad people and therefore you’re a bad person too.

I have thought that too.

You’re not. I’m not . If it’s one thing I’ve learned, we are not what we came from ..alll the time. Cycles can be broken, if you do the work. If you’re feeling anything reading this. Good . Come back to it. Pray on it. Learn from it. Use that feeling to make some changes!! I promise you, you’ll be better for it.

Ok soap box Officially over thanks for reading my ted talk.

Pppp s her account is on insta @glographics

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Welcome!

I spent the last hour moving all my old blog posts from my old blog to the trash.  I can safely say that I found everything I wrote truly abhorrent.  I am now questioning why I proceeded to start a brand new blog page.  Ah, yes, these first three sentences are a clear indication that I have a writers brain.

The question is, what will I do with this brain.  Will I continue to make excuses? Will I continue to tell myself it’s not even worth writing because it will never turn into something? What exactly is this something? Is it money? fulfillment? Likes? Comments? Validation?  What is this something I seem to crave so desperately from my writing.  Ah,  yes, I have a writers brain.

The fact that I was able to set this blog site up, and close the other one down, without technical incident is a TRIUMPH.

Or clicking the mouse till it freezes up everything while the )7300 error code pops up, is a TRIUMPH.

I cannot make this up.  While I was typing this  ‘Welcome message”, my computer completely blacked out and I received a glorious pop-up that stated, “I needed to restart my computer to install updates.”

Listen

This includes standing against systematic racism.
If someone speaks out against injustice, it doesn’t make them ungrateful or unpatriotic/aggressive/disrespectful.
The phrase .. “go live somewhere else.”…. Is demeaning..
Why do people devalue others’ experience? It’s called gaslighting. It keeps fear in power. It keeps fear looming so minds cannot be changed….and “things stay the same.”

Just listen. NO ONE is trying to radicalize you or the country… by saying Black Lives Matter.
.. No one is trying to dismantle freedom by crying out in pain with THEIR experience. Or by telling their story. People are hurting. Everywhere. Telling them to “be grateful”.. is not helping. I can love America to pieces and still think she needs

to makes some changes. It’s possible to be grateful and be angry ..because changes that were promised so many times, were not fulfilled.
LISTEN.

Multi level marketing invoked some multi level emotions ..

Hey!! I appreciate all the nominations to post pics & engage on/in certain fb groups etc. My inactivity is not personal. Fb is a tremendous source of anxiety. It’s not any one person, place or thing…
I can’t do the constant covid19 information.(factual or not) .the political stuff (Democrat or Republican or _)


Long footnote:
Please don’t be offended If I don’t participate in multi level/network marketing events /groups. I’ve been invited to a bunch of virtual groups/ parties….as of late, and I totally understand why people are doing this.* You are trying to support your friends/self/family and I understand this, in the depths of my soul and recess of my eye sockets.. I was in one for two years and tried to support everyone I knew that where in one as well, bc I believed in ‘The Dream.’* I have a plethora of items (31/pampered chef etc) that I still use. I’m not a hatah’.

Here is the thing…During quarantine I have been doing a ton of research on multi level/network marketing and it’s truly not what I thought it was/is
….even as a discount market partner or associate or whatever “name” they utilize, if you are participating for the discount, bc you like the product.
I know all corporations are built in a way that makes money for the top. I get the concept of business.
………….
However after doing research (outside of my own echo chamber) , it’s so clear that the majority of the money for the top level bossbabes in their forever mansions, comes from the forever bottom/forever customer ..simply trying to make extra money and/or stay at home with their kids.

They prey on the vulnerable. The reason I started this research on multilevel/network marketing is how egregiously and ferociously..the MLM/network/direct sales companies went after unemployed people during a global pandemic. To sell to other unemployed people during a global pandemic..and build a team of unemployed people. (Logistically it’s not feasible ).

I’m sure some of you are reading this and makes you angry. This is not my intention. Maybe I’m making an amends for my time* in one..my amends to friends, family and myself. Maybe I’m just writing what’s on my mind bc its cathartic. I also try to use my words for good. Inspiration. Hope. Laughter.

So instead of going on and on (which I already have 🤦‍♀️.). I’ll list some resources with actual facts for assistance:
FTC . GOV search multi level marketing
Wikipedia search multi level marketing
(Multi level marketing refers to network marking and direct sales within the business model.)

On Instagram :
@mlm_busters
@mlmdebunked
@lillian.lano.loves
@anti_mlm_bossbabe

On Facebook
Mombie
Americans Against MLM
@mlmpolice

There are many many more, but these seem to be the most informative and not as “angry/volatile “, as some of the other ones I have reviewed..Anger and rage solve nothing unless channeled towards a solution.


I know there is a FB Group which is anti-mlm but I heard it’s pretty brutal. ‘Sounds like an mlm but ok’ , is the name of it. I don’t know much about it other than what a few people told me. I have heard that people have been attacked for trying to find their way out of an mlm or looking for support from guilt after leaving one or to gather info to help a family member who is in one.. Some are scared bc their upline is also a mean girl hiding beneath her toxic positivity leggings. So if this group is Bullying someone who is being bullied or their family member is being bullied in an MLM? Hmmmmm. Sounds more like high school, but ok. And I really disliked hi skoole. A lot.

And bullying (as mentioned above )is loosely defined as the insane love bombing then shaming tactics.. that these companies excel within.
… For ex) if you raise ANY OBJECTIONs to BUSINESS PRACTICES OR FACTUAL STATISTICS ..they shame you and call you negative, Excuse maker and that you are NOT WORKING YOUR BUSINESS model correctly. After telling you were/are a “leader of leaders.” 🤯 (this happened to me on several occasions. Not isolated either. )*

*In closing, I was a beachbody coach for two years, while I taught fitness classes. I did EVERYTHING they told me to do. I lost money. I lost time. I didn’t spend more time with my family bc I was “working from home.” I yelled at my husband about the poison in cheez its.. But I had a 4 pack of abs!(highly/highly overrated btw )
……..
People unfollowed me (I don’t blame them!!) My friends stuck by me, bc I was so “committed” and they loved me & they knew my heart. Thank You.. Maybe I made money per BBody’s “compensation plan” -🤦‍♀️. (No one could EVER explain to me how that actually worked ..Which should have been a HUGE RED FLAG but alas I was good at avoidance !! )
Finally,. I completed a true profit and loss statement, and it was scary to see how much product I had purchased in my own inventory (which they tell you that you don’t have to do but then tell you have to do it in order to succeed, which is classic mlm leadership= Double speak and confusion.)
I want to seriously apologize for anyone I “invited” to be a beachbody coach or be in my challenge groups. The cold messages, the lovebombing and the bizarre-tone-deaf-extreme-chamber which I echoed throughout my life during my “time” in all of it.. I was extremely vulnerable when they recruited me and it worked. I was smitten with my upline and her mean- girl-adjacent cheerleading-squad-of-dance fighters. ( I still loved/love that dance fighting format tho ) I don’t regret it anymore and I am profusely sorry if I hurt anyone in the process.

And no. This isn’t an isolated incident. There are thousands of stories which resonate within this “isolated” story of mine. I have read and heard them with my own eyes.
I say this bc I have also heard “I’m sorry you had that experience.. my mlm company/upline is not like that.” If you’re “working” for an mlm, and you’re not getting a paycheck unless you purchase mandatory MONTHLY product AND recruit people to do the same exact thing and “duplicate yourself” (another fun mlm term used in “leadership””…. ..then yes..it is like “that.” Your upline just might be less mean girl adjacent and better at lovebombing.

Also… Google BITE model. Alllllll of this and more was utilized on me in Beachbody.
Thanks for reading my not thesis/ thesis.

I hope to dabble more on facebook/word press I’m dipping my toe back in with a long one….

Meandering Thoughts on the Home Biz tiered marketing spike during Covid 19

No offense ..please!! to anyone that does this as a side hustle.
Take what you like and leave the rest. Trust me. I understand the allure of this ‘concept’ because I did it for two years.😇😳😒
The most eye opening part of my experience:
A) a actual profit and loss statement (didn’t take long to see I was losing money and I’m horrible at math )
b) being told by a very high level bossbabe that I had to Rank people on a tracking sheet and if i didn’t want to do this (because it went against my moral code in every way) , I was essentially, a quitter?excuse maker. That my friends..is gas-lighting 101.

PS.. I know a lot of people who do this for the product (no argument that some of these companies put out some great products) and I get that. Truly. . I don’t know that the answer ‘is’ but I do know I what I experienced. I do know that as I bonded with enough people who have terminated their contracts (PPS it took me 3 typed written letters and 2 phone calls to terminate mine? ). to know my experience was far from isolated…. in fact .. it was extremely common. And the fact that it’s a “contract” with ZERO money guaranteed, should have been a huge red flag.

The MAIN reason I’m sharing about this business is how many ‘leading’ MLM* companies preyed on peoples’ worst economic/health insecurities, during a global epidemic (yes. I know other non-mlm companies took advantage as well, but ..MLMS* and their shady by-products.. =(bossbabe-mentorship-program-5-day-free-trial-bait-switch-vortex-ads, were the MOST egregious during the global pandemic by many high level bossbabes.)

I share** because seeing these type of posts (the one I’m writing and the blog attached) have helped me shed some of the guilt I carried for signing people up under me and not following my gut instinct about predatory /toxic/mean-girl-adjacent behavior.***

  • (multi level/network/direct/marketing)

** I am hesitant to share my opinion on this topic, (bc essentially that’s what my writing is..an opinion/a think-piece)…because I know there are caring/amazing/ wonderful people, who do this for the product discount or to make some side money.

I want to reiterate, this post/blog attachment; is not an indictment or criticism towards those individuals. This is a cautionary tale of what I went through and what many other people have been through or are going through right now. To be clear, this is a criticism of the business model and of the high level bossbabes who shame/gaslight/ and say things like “I am successful because I put the work in and YOU didn’t” (actual quote.) In any other job, they would be hauled into Human Resources /put on notice/ terminated for this type of gas-lighting behavior they exemplify on social media. #themoreweknow

*** ..I singled out the babes/female/girls – in this context because they exemplified the top tier of a lot of these companies and SEEK out the weaker non-mean females..seeking validation (as I was). LITERALLY stuff we should have learned in High school ..but didn’t…

Thank you for reading/reading attached blog post. and it’s okay if you rolled your eyes. Or wish I wouldn’t share my opinions and just share happy pictures of family stuff. If there is one thing I have learned – especially in the last 6 months -is that hiding – because it makes others more comfortable – is not who I am at my core. When I hide my words because they may cause discomfort ..I am hiding who I truly am. I write better than I speak and If it helps one person laugh/feel better/look inward/trust their instincts….then maybe I am paying in forward ..in a very small way.

White privilege

If the term white privilege bothers you please please please take some time to research why it has to be addressed. /discussed.
It doesn’t mean that you, the white person reading this had a privileged life, it means that you did not have the burden of being racially profiled on 1top of whatever burdens you faced.  Yes. Even if you were profiled for being a poor white person you still didn’t have to deal with racial profiling ON TOP OF POVERTY.
I will delete all comments that defend your whiteness.  No one is  coming after YOU personally.   So chill.  No one I am friends with on fb  grew up like the silver spoons kid, so obviously I’m not talking to you personally. Just do some research for your own brain and widening of your mind. Please. And for the love of all things , please don’t discuss wealthy affluent POC’s “privilege” (celebs etc ) BC THATS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT EITHER .
A place to start if you’re confused is
The murder of Geroge Floyd (he was asphyxiated  )  versus the PEACEFUL arrest of the devil  who murdered people serving the Lord in the Charleston church.
And a jogger. Murdered by two evil racists to only be (peacefully) arrested a month later bc of video evidence.

I’m mad. I’m a nice person and I have a big heart but I’m so tired of people DEFENDING violence against POC and black people ,  to make themselves feel better about their race and their political beliefs. 

Just stop thinking about yourself for one moment and please put yourselves in someone elses shoes for two moments.

I’m not anti police or pro riots and pro violence to invoke change.   I’m standing up for what is RIGHT when it’s been wrong for so long for people I love. Please, I implore you to take this time to really reflect on what it is your trying to say with “all lives matter” or whatever counter argument you have to peaceful protest or to anyone that is trying to do the right thing with this movement .. 
I’m really really upset about the USA.  So if you love me. I beg you to not try and fight me on my beliefs but instead use whatever energy you have in proving your point in the comments sections…to REACH deep and do some research OUTSIDE OF YOUR ECHO CHAMBER

Stigmatized

I was desperate to reinvent myself after babies. I NEEDED to make money and not have to lose it all to daycare. For a variety of reasons..

I also thought I could make a difference in peoples lives. And… in walked the Multi Level Marketing/Direct Marketing/ Network marketing. Whatever . Any business where your selling other peoples shit, on your dime, your time and not getting paid ..unless you meet some crazy housewives-of- cards-flow-charting-fluid -pyramid-chart-thing that doesn’t even make sense to people who have business degrees.

Here is my issue with all of this MLM stuff. While I’m glad people are speaking about about the fallacy of this ‘home biz’ dream, People who are super successful, do not operate in a icky, salesly aggressive manner. They are SLICK.

They have elaborate business workshops and massive followings for their weekend- long spa-like-seminars. Their success is absolutely real. They have the stay-at-home spouses , who ‘fired their boss’, to prove it. The cars. The trips. The houses. The college education paid for and they invested wisely…..

BUT it’s not attainable for many and there is absolutely no transparency in their long- winded posts and webinars.

That lack of transparency is hid under their layers of real success. They tell you how they got there, from the humblest of beginnings but they really don’t tell how they did it you either. There is so much conflicting, confusing information , washed away with exploding presentations and concert-like venues.

Also, because they are so wildly successful.. they get “out” of that business AND become ‘home business consultants.’

Additionally, they book highly reputable speakers on the subject of social media marketing /influencing or whatver the eff it’s called. It actually appears very legitimate. They actually preach on NOT being aggresive and how to be super mysterious and make people “come to you and interview for a position on your sales team.”. .

It’s all very, very layered in a non-transparent double speak. It’s all very intelligently presented, its cohesive webinars and break-out workshops. Backed by awe inspiring stories of Doctors and Lawyers who “quit their day jobs ” to “run their home biz.”

Wow. Who can’t be inspired by a Doctor who, quit his/her career AS A DOCTOR;

After completing med school?

And a grueling residencey?

Who is now more fulfilled, financially, spiritually and mentally… selling keto oil.

Don’t get me started on the Drs who push mlm nutrition supplements. NO!

What I find super baffling is, my friends that are in mlms, are not icky sales people. The proverbial downline. They never inbox me. They are very low key and some of the products they sell are high quality.

And more importantly the products are legit to them. I have no idea how much money they make because they don’t flaunt it. They sell it because they use it. The same reason I signed up for Beachbody.

I loved the fitness programs, taught them and I liked shakeoolgy. But I couldn’t justify the INSANE price and aggressive selling tactics so I left because I was literally telling people where to buy the comparable product at the local nutrition shop, by the end of my short lived emerald ocean tour.

Plus, I got sick of shakes. and sick of my upline telling me I needed to drink shakeology every day. Now I drink some brand from the nutrition shake-shack ..maybe twice a week, when its warm out.

I also loved the 31 Totes, Stella and Dot and some Pampered Chef stuff. .and the oils from fueding oil companies, smelled fantastic. Although ingesting them in lieu of going to the doctor or INGESTING THEM AT ALL..seemed a bit off to me.but also I just bought oregano oil pills from my pharma so maybe I’m a hypocrite or maybe I’m confused.

Be smart be safe and trust modern medical miracles.

Some of the products are well made and worthwhile.

And it is really diffficutl to say no to a friend who is trying to make some extra cash ,,when they didn’t even ask but their social media shares are sweet, compelling and non aggressive.

There is so much more layering in all of this that goes beyond simply identifying charlaton sales ads or hunbots as they are called now.

And hunbots are not so self aware they are going to read this blog and have a wake up call about their creepy hunbot behavior (google the term if you don’t know ..I’m too lazy to link the definition).

I know this blog piece is lost on many who do do this for a living or do it to get discount on fragrant oil or eyelash serums. Or you never had to reinvent your self in your career.

I don’t know what the answer is to addressing the deception. God knows.. I’ve searched because I was incredibly misled on my journey as a healht “coach.’

I firmly believe the people at the tippy top of the organizations, are not being held accountable for the utter lack of transparency.

And why hasn’t anyone in the government or with real power to set regulations, spoke out against the pretzel logic business models ?

.BECAUSE they are neatly packaged in some amazing seminars backed by NYT best selling authors & successful entrepreneurs..like Chalene Johnson and the “Dammit all to hell, Karen..go Wash your freaking Face!”.. Gal ….

For me, I had to get nice and depressed and lose money to get out

I would hate that for my friends. But I also don’t want to crap all over a friends’ (or family’s) business if they are making a little extra cash they need . So I’m extremely hesitant to write or share articles about it.

Writing this was tough.. but I won’t share it..except for my twitter account, which has , 14 followers. AND….Probably all hunbots 🤣

It’s tricky and makes me sad for the people who have been scammed. Something that is supposed to be so great for the stay at home parent ..ends up being a trap of deception and house of cards,.. for so many.

I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t know how to get to the bottom of it. I wish I did. It is something that seems to haunt me ..even 7 years clear from this ..’Stranger Things’ type of biz industry .

Hopefully, as more light is shed on what really happens..the more people will:

a) do the right thing at the top

b) make the biz model much more transparent

c) not prey on stay at home parents

d decrease the drastic mark up on their products.

Hopefully, something good will come from those who failed and those who succeeded and there will not be such a stigma attached to either saying “no or yes”, to a new shake or eye cream.

Social Media Influence

For so long, I chased a “lifestyle” through drinking…it worked till it didnt.

With the explosion of social media influence and entrepreneurship via social media, this tale is being told:
Buy my “program”, and you can look, be , feel , act , live like me.

From food, to fashion to whatever..no one can deny that social media influence,, is HUGE.

I just entered like 900 giveaways, so don’t get me wrong.. I buy stuff. I follow inspiring influencers. I am inspired by some of this phenomenon. I’m human.
What I’ve learned, is I’m.not trying to “buy” “that” lifestyle , anymore.

I did it A LOT in the past. Through drinking. Then exercising.. then multi level marketing/direct marketing (it has so many titles now so basically Avon on steroids..) in the fitness industry.

Then chasing after “mentors” in hopes they would help me expand my “biz.” Side note/cautionary tale:
.a “true mentor” ain’t gonna require that you sign up for auto ship to gain guidance.. or their “coaching.” Once I really plugged into what I wanted for myself and my family, I really started to dig underneath what I was seeing in front of me.
I don’t have an entrepreneurial spirit. I don’t want a home biz. I don’t want to have a girl boss squad. Or any kind of squad. Or a tribe. Doesn’t mean I’m antisocial or not a productive member of society.
There is nothing wrong with those things /titles/activities 👆..
….there is ALSO nothing wrong if that’s not your path or passion. I simply don’t thrive in forced social constructs.
Giant events pushing a certain agenda make me so anxious I want to stick toothpicks in my eyes. And that is OKAY.
You do you. Dont let the #bossBabe make you feel like your missing out on a chance of a life time bc you dont want to sell a business model to all your friends or some rando person at TJmaxx. I did that.
I drank to fit in , then I replaced it with trying to fit in in other fake ways till
I went into deep depression trying to fit in with a bunch of people to sell “a lifestyle”, that didnt match up with who I was on the inside.

A Kinder, Gentler Annoyed Persona. aka.. Slightly Irritated.

Things that Irritate me lately:

Podcasts. I tried. It’s too much like talk radio which reminds me of Schwetty Balls on SNL which IS FUNNY, as a skit, not as a 59.4 minute cross-talk section of people talking about absolutely nothing.  or ball shaped food.

Boss-Babes. No.

5 minute video-vlog-information that could have been delivered in one sentence or a tik snap vine thing.

Hashtag ‘SO and SO is over/Cancel Culture’ (I wrote a blog about this but I canceled the post because it irritated me so much because I was so irritated by it’s irritability of both what I wrote and that fact that it is even a “thing”  right now. )

Political memes with wildly inaccurate facts, not even intended to be funny.  No. I’m pretty sure she’s not running a fight club under a a doughnut shop.

Trolls without a proper fake profile pic.  Just. Pure. Laziness. bro. At least take the time to steal a profile pic or hack into stock photos.

People who are still making fun of the People of Walmart. Seriously, my kid knows better.

Blow-OUT “Savings” on Life-Style Webinars or products of those webinars.  “I am rich & pretty AND I do good yoga.  I am gonna tell you how I got this way, but you don’t have to pay as much as the person did last week, on my 5 minute 5 point Plan (based on MY opinion and only MY experience).  A vacuum of contradiction and double speak.

Photo-Stock pictures.  Because when I want to read a blog, I want to read a blog.  Unless it’s a picture /gif of a Dog being terrified of a tiny cat. I’m grown – I don’t need pictures to keep my attention. (and if you do, sorry you won’t find them here.  But Also… part of my irritation with this is..me.  I am picture-loading-editing illiterate. I’m terrible at it.  And usually if I’m irritated with someone or something , it’s because I can’t do it and I’m jealous.)

    9 times out of 9.1,  I just want to know how to make chocolate chip cookies. I cannot read the recipe on the back of the bag because I cannot find my glasses, but I CAN enlarge your blog and I do not want to enlarge your blog, to see 800 pictures of your Chef’s Kitchen.   I have friends with beautiful Chef’s kitchens that I can hang out in real life.  . I can go ALSO go on Facebook to see pictures of them making chocolate chip cookies in their Chef’s kitchens.  AND if you do have to put a picture in your chocolate chip recipe blog, please make it realistic. WE all know that if you have a Chef’s Kitchen, you got people living up under that roof and messes were made and  a Gif of “I CANT HEAR THE GAME SHARON” ….would be much more realistic.

Articles/Blogs on how badly we parent.  Pretty sure, we can figure that out all by ourselves. I don’t need a 2000 word essay bullet pointing out every. single. one. of . my . mistakes.

Blasting consumerism during the holidays. Look, I get it – we consume. And sometimes it is WAY out of hand.  But why not focus on the good stuff. Small Biz Saturdays.  Social time spent with family (I LOVE shopping with my daughter.) Finding good deals. Sharing good deals.  Or How you insanely embarrassed your teen child is at every possible American Eagle type of store.  Knowingly and Willingly participating in their embarrassment by staring at them and saying “I can’t believe how much you have grown since last Christmas”, in front of American Eagle staff and crew.   Transcendent Eye Rolling abound.

Pretty much anyone blasting anyone, for the way they celebrate their holidays.  Spoiling the grandchildren is not a crime and buying LUSH bath-bombs at 15 dollars a pop is not a crime.  Indulgent? Maybe a little silly? Possibly Wondering if you could easily make this at home if you were a bit more patient with Pinterest? YES all that.. But not a crime. So calm down Social Justice Consumers – just CALM DOWN>.

Google Cows Farting,  I think there is much more to be had there.  Find a way to cut down on cow farts.  And then we can integrate that into our home life and no one has to clear a room an hour later, after Spot inhaled Little Jada’s hot dog by accident. Pay It Forward with your research on how to cut down on overall flatulent emissions.

I am trying to be less of a negative person. Less cynical and jaded. ( I know right? You’re asking, “wait, Did I switch blog-pieces by accident?”)  Anyways,  I prefer to adopt the term  ‘Slightly Irritated. ‘  Maybe a “kinder-gentler” version of Lewis Black. He screams, I pick on the mundane. It’s all in good fun.

I think the reason these things irritate me is because they are an assault on my senses.  I consume information through reading, writing and comedy.  Drama and droning voices on a webinar or a podcast sound “thirsty.”  Wait, or maybe it’s too reminiscent of college learnin’.  Where the tinny taste of endless diet cokes & weekend-long AND distanced hangovers, hovered like a fog ..on my brain.  So yes, millennials, or however you hath been labeled;  commandeering the darn inter-webs,  all of my irritations listed above are TRIGGERS. I’m triggered.

Or sometimes I recoil at people who look an awful lot like me, in their Glitter-lettered “I’m so Bleeping GRATEFUL” tunics & LulaGupta leggings , dancing around their kitchen making it rain with their Boss-Babe money. I guess… because I tried to do the ‘Boss Babe Glitter Money’ thing once, and wow! did it bring up a lot of insecurities in very odd ways.

The Inter-webs is triggering A>F.   It can be a source of great joy, laughter and connection. It can be a reflection. It can be an addiction. (been there, and I’m pretty sure I spend too much time on it, especially this time of year for some reason).  It can be lots of things.

For me, sifting through its idiosyncrasies and banality , is part of our life today. While we all may yearn to be disconnected and “off the grid” at times, it’s also a giant source of comparability and contradictions , that ironically; levels the playing field a bit.

Right now, I am able to connect with the masses (.03 followers.) and exercise my creative outlet  through this beautiful monster.  I am able to make maybe one person laugh or roll their eyes or evoke emotion  THROUGH rolling their eyes. And isn’t that what it’s all about?  Feeling Connected to our emotions ? Feeling connected to others – even if it’s through a virtual platform?

I’ll take the internet over “off the grid”, living any-day. Yes, it’s important to disconnect and God knows my family needs to do much more of it. We will find our way. I will find my way to balance.  Until then, I will keep trying to come up with “funky ass shit like every single day”* (Or other day, or every other other day) via the internet.

also, I have no idea why I’m using hath or thou.

* Quote from Snoop Dogs Gin and Juice and thanks to the internet for giving me this ability because I had LEGIT forgotten what the name of the song was and only remembered various lyrics form this song and without the internet I would have had to get on my neon phone and call someone and ask.

Black FriYay

Reprimanded in Sephora for opening Glitter Pallets. 👊

Asked American Eagle support-staff, if they thought ‘these’ pants would fit my 14 year old son who just hit a giant growth spurt… (my daughter walked away & joined another family at that moment ) 👊

Smelled every candle in every single store and exclaimed “OMG that smells soo good!”👊

Reprimanded In parking lot, for being bad at parking.👊

#SuccessFulBlackFriyay.