Stigmatized

I was desperate to reinvent myself after babies. I NEEDED to make money and not have to lose it all to daycare. For a variety of reasons..

I also thought I could make a difference in peoples lives. And… in walked the Multi Level Marketing/Direct Marketing/ Network marketing. Whatever . Any business where your selling other peoples shit, on your dime, your time and not getting paid ..unless you meet some crazy housewives-of- cards-flow-charting-fluid -pyramid-chart-thing that doesn’t even make sense to people who have business degrees.

Here is my issue with all of this MLM stuff. While I’m glad people are speaking about about the fallacy of this ‘home biz’ dream, People who are super successful, do not operate in a icky, salesly aggressive manner. They are SLICK.

They have elaborate business workshops and massive followings for their weekend- long spa-like-seminars. Their success is absolutely real. They have the stay-at-home spouses , who ‘fired their boss’, to prove it. The cars. The trips. The houses. The college education paid for and they invested wisely…..

BUT it’s not attainable for many and there is absolutely no transparency in their long- winded posts and webinars.

That lack of transparency is hid under their layers of real success. They tell you how they got there, from the humblest of beginnings but they really don’t tell how they did it you either. There is so much conflicting, confusing information , washed away with exploding presentations and concert-like venues.

Also, because they are so wildly successful.. they get “out” of that business AND become ‘home business consultants.’

Additionally, they book highly reputable speakers on the subject of social media marketing /influencing or whatver the eff it’s called. It actually appears very legitimate. They actually preach on NOT being aggresive and how to be super mysterious and make people “come to you and interview for a position on your sales team.”. .

It’s all very, very layered in a non-transparent double speak. It’s all very intelligently presented, its cohesive webinars and break-out workshops. Backed by awe inspiring stories of Doctors and Lawyers who “quit their day jobs ” to “run their home biz.”

Wow. Who can’t be inspired by a Doctor who, quit his/her career AS A DOCTOR;

After completing med school?

And a grueling residencey?

Who is now more fulfilled, financially, spiritually and mentally… selling keto oil.

Don’t get me started on the Drs who push mlm nutrition supplements. NO!

What I find super baffling is, my friends that are in mlms, are not icky sales people. The proverbial downline. They never inbox me. They are very low key and some of the products they sell are high quality.

And more importantly the products are legit to them. I have no idea how much money they make because they don’t flaunt it. They sell it because they use it. The same reason I signed up for Beachbody.

I loved the fitness programs, taught them and I liked shakeoolgy. But I couldn’t justify the INSANE price and aggressive selling tactics so I left because I was literally telling people where to buy the comparable product at the local nutrition shop, by the end of my short lived emerald ocean tour.

Plus, I got sick of shakes. and sick of my upline telling me I needed to drink shakeology every day. Now I drink some brand from the nutrition shake-shack ..maybe twice a week, when its warm out.

I also loved the 31 Totes, Stella and Dot and some Pampered Chef stuff. .and the oils from fueding oil companies, smelled fantastic. Although ingesting them in lieu of going to the doctor or INGESTING THEM AT ALL..seemed a bit off to me.but also I just bought oregano oil pills from my pharma so maybe I’m a hypocrite or maybe I’m confused.

Be smart be safe and trust modern medical miracles.

Some of the products are well made and worthwhile.

And it is really diffficutl to say no to a friend who is trying to make some extra cash ,,when they didn’t even ask but their social media shares are sweet, compelling and non aggressive.

There is so much more layering in all of this that goes beyond simply identifying charlaton sales ads or hunbots as they are called now.

And hunbots are not so self aware they are going to read this blog and have a wake up call about their creepy hunbot behavior (google the term if you don’t know ..I’m too lazy to link the definition).

I know this blog piece is lost on many who do do this for a living or do it to get discount on fragrant oil or eyelash serums. Or you never had to reinvent your self in your career.

I don’t know what the answer is to addressing the deception. God knows.. I’ve searched because I was incredibly misled on my journey as a healht “coach.’

I firmly believe the people at the tippy top of the organizations, are not being held accountable for the utter lack of transparency.

And why hasn’t anyone in the government or with real power to set regulations, spoke out against the pretzel logic business models ?

.BECAUSE they are neatly packaged in some amazing seminars backed by NYT best selling authors & successful entrepreneurs..like Chalene Johnson and the “Dammit all to hell, Karen..go Wash your freaking Face!”.. Gal ….

For me, I had to get nice and depressed and lose money to get out

I would hate that for my friends. But I also don’t want to crap all over a friends’ (or family’s) business if they are making a little extra cash they need . So I’m extremely hesitant to write or share articles about it.

Writing this was tough.. but I won’t share it..except for my twitter account, which has , 14 followers. AND….Probably all hunbots 🤣

It’s tricky and makes me sad for the people who have been scammed. Something that is supposed to be so great for the stay at home parent ..ends up being a trap of deception and house of cards,.. for so many.

I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t know how to get to the bottom of it. I wish I did. It is something that seems to haunt me ..even 7 years clear from this ..’Stranger Things’ type of biz industry .

Hopefully, as more light is shed on what really happens..the more people will:

a) do the right thing at the top

b) make the biz model much more transparent

c) not prey on stay at home parents

d decrease the drastic mark up on their products.

Hopefully, something good will come from those who failed and those who succeeded and there will not be such a stigma attached to either saying “no or yes”, to a new shake or eye cream.

3 Pronged Approach to a Kindgarten Telephone Call.

This is my Gown UP 3 point plan.. and maybe stolen quotes from kindergarten.

…With a…”secret telephone game” twist of mid life cynicism..

1) Never ever put your eggs in one basket. Unless you literally need to, because you only have one basket for the eggs and in that case..you NEED TO GET ANOTHER BASKET.

2) Don’t expect life to meet your expectations . You have to adjust accordingly. Unless someone puts mayo on your sandwich and you SPECIFICALLY asked them NOT TO PUT MAYO ON YOUR SANDWICH.

Then, AND only then can you…sigh and passive aggressively wipe the mayo of the sandwich, in front of the waitress/or and say “no no it’s fine. Sigh sigh sigh.sighsigh…I’ll survive ”

3) Comparison is the thief of joy (eleanor roosevelt I think..too lazy to Googleses.)

Seriously. STOP COMPARING YOIR LIFE TO WHAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA or MEDIA. Or in some life Changers podinarwebcast thingy.

It’s staged. Cropped.. photo shopped.edit.. You will NEVER know the truth..ever. (unless TMZ catches up with them and then it’s skeletons falling over each other trying to run out of that closet faster than someone who recently left the White House to publish a new “Tell-all”)

A picture is no longer worth any words because they are all LIES. (Ok I’m being a little on the nose with cynicism but I’m making a thinkpiece POINT!!! And to Thinkpiece Point is to be On The Nose)

In all SERIOUS NESS. How many times have you taken a beautiful picture of your family/loved ones/friends and then 5 seconds later it all goes to hell in a handbasket.**

THAT’S LIFE.

Hand-baskets and eggs with a sprinkling of hellish moments and you have to figure out how to deal with it ON YOUR TERMS.

Not how a “lifesprunged” lifer of living life told you to do it at the seminar you paid 2k to attend.

Not how your best friend told you to do it.

Not how your mom or dad or aunt or uncle or any family member told you.

And certainly not from a celebrity/influencer who claims to have it all figured out for you in whatver it is they are selling.

Maybe there is fantastic advice sprinkled in there with a tidbits of sensationalized life events.

Maybe there is wisdom you CAN’T get from anywhere else.

But at the end of the day. YOU are in the driver seat. It’s your car, your life ..and each choice you make is your decision.

If you make a mistake own it and move forward from growth.

If you succeeded, share it wisely and truthfully.

And if you are depressed by the constant barrage of seemingly endless life fixers selling you better life in the world. .Turn. That. Off. And look INWARD.

That’s my hall mark moment or the day.

** some of the “best” pictures of me or in my phone may have been at my lowest moments or in times or great pain.

My point is, when you “see” what you see on the interwebs or tele, you have to remember that you are no longer getting the full picture by choice because that doesn’t produce profit.

This is not necessarily good or evil or wrong or right.. It is simply a fact.

Therefore, next time you see a person and say to yourself. . “gosh I wish my body looked like that” I get it. I’ve said it. I also know I don’t really mean it. Maybe I think it now for a fleeting 5 seconds, but then I stop.

And I remember alll the work I’ve done on my busy brain. I take a deep breath. I rub my belly and gaze at my gracious teenagers who I’ve asked 7890 times to unload the dishes. “Omg ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?? WHY ARE THE DISHES STILL IN THE DISHWASHER AND WHY IS THEIR A CHOCOLATE MILK CONTAINER IN THE BATHROOM BEHIND THE QTIPS AND IF I HEAR ONE MORE COMPLAINT ABOUT THE LAGGY CANADIAN INTERNET….”

Wait what was I talking about.. oh yes gratitude for my “mummy tummy ” of 2 teens and gratitude that I’m no longer obsessed with “fixing ” about myself because it doesnt meet some impossible standard set by someone other than Myself.!

My point is..

stop. Thinking.

.things..could.

should. Be ..different

..and start celebrating what you have right now.