Multi level marketing invoked some multi level emotions ..

Hey!! I appreciate all the nominations to post pics & engage on/in certain fb groups etc. My inactivity is not personal. Fb is a tremendous source of anxiety. It’s not any one person, place or thing…
I can’t do the constant covid19 information.(factual or not) .the political stuff (Democrat or Republican or _)


Long footnote:
Please don’t be offended If I don’t participate in multi level/network marketing events /groups. I’ve been invited to a bunch of virtual groups/ parties….as of late, and I totally understand why people are doing this.* You are trying to support your friends/self/family and I understand this, in the depths of my soul and recess of my eye sockets.. I was in one for two years and tried to support everyone I knew that where in one as well, bc I believed in ‘The Dream.’* I have a plethora of items (31/pampered chef etc) that I still use. I’m not a hatah’.

Here is the thing…During quarantine I have been doing a ton of research on multi level/network marketing and it’s truly not what I thought it was/is
….even as a discount market partner or associate or whatever “name” they utilize, if you are participating for the discount, bc you like the product.
I know all corporations are built in a way that makes money for the top. I get the concept of business.
………….
However after doing research (outside of my own echo chamber) , it’s so clear that the majority of the money for the top level bossbabes in their forever mansions, comes from the forever bottom/forever customer ..simply trying to make extra money and/or stay at home with their kids.

They prey on the vulnerable. The reason I started this research on multilevel/network marketing is how egregiously and ferociously..the MLM/network/direct sales companies went after unemployed people during a global pandemic. To sell to other unemployed people during a global pandemic..and build a team of unemployed people. (Logistically it’s not feasible ).

I’m sure some of you are reading this and makes you angry. This is not my intention. Maybe I’m making an amends for my time* in one..my amends to friends, family and myself. Maybe I’m just writing what’s on my mind bc its cathartic. I also try to use my words for good. Inspiration. Hope. Laughter.

So instead of going on and on (which I already have 🤦‍♀️.). I’ll list some resources with actual facts for assistance:
FTC . GOV search multi level marketing
Wikipedia search multi level marketing
(Multi level marketing refers to network marking and direct sales within the business model.)

On Instagram :
@mlm_busters
@mlmdebunked
@lillian.lano.loves
@anti_mlm_bossbabe

On Facebook
Mombie
Americans Against MLM
@mlmpolice

There are many many more, but these seem to be the most informative and not as “angry/volatile “, as some of the other ones I have reviewed..Anger and rage solve nothing unless channeled towards a solution.


I know there is a FB Group which is anti-mlm but I heard it’s pretty brutal. ‘Sounds like an mlm but ok’ , is the name of it. I don’t know much about it other than what a few people told me. I have heard that people have been attacked for trying to find their way out of an mlm or looking for support from guilt after leaving one or to gather info to help a family member who is in one.. Some are scared bc their upline is also a mean girl hiding beneath her toxic positivity leggings. So if this group is Bullying someone who is being bullied or their family member is being bullied in an MLM? Hmmmmm. Sounds more like high school, but ok. And I really disliked hi skoole. A lot.

And bullying (as mentioned above )is loosely defined as the insane love bombing then shaming tactics.. that these companies excel within.
… For ex) if you raise ANY OBJECTIONs to BUSINESS PRACTICES OR FACTUAL STATISTICS ..they shame you and call you negative, Excuse maker and that you are NOT WORKING YOUR BUSINESS model correctly. After telling you were/are a “leader of leaders.” 🤯 (this happened to me on several occasions. Not isolated either. )*

*In closing, I was a beachbody coach for two years, while I taught fitness classes. I did EVERYTHING they told me to do. I lost money. I lost time. I didn’t spend more time with my family bc I was “working from home.” I yelled at my husband about the poison in cheez its.. But I had a 4 pack of abs!(highly/highly overrated btw )
……..
People unfollowed me (I don’t blame them!!) My friends stuck by me, bc I was so “committed” and they loved me & they knew my heart. Thank You.. Maybe I made money per BBody’s “compensation plan” -🤦‍♀️. (No one could EVER explain to me how that actually worked ..Which should have been a HUGE RED FLAG but alas I was good at avoidance !! )
Finally,. I completed a true profit and loss statement, and it was scary to see how much product I had purchased in my own inventory (which they tell you that you don’t have to do but then tell you have to do it in order to succeed, which is classic mlm leadership= Double speak and confusion.)
I want to seriously apologize for anyone I “invited” to be a beachbody coach or be in my challenge groups. The cold messages, the lovebombing and the bizarre-tone-deaf-extreme-chamber which I echoed throughout my life during my “time” in all of it.. I was extremely vulnerable when they recruited me and it worked. I was smitten with my upline and her mean- girl-adjacent cheerleading-squad-of-dance fighters. ( I still loved/love that dance fighting format tho ) I don’t regret it anymore and I am profusely sorry if I hurt anyone in the process.

And no. This isn’t an isolated incident. There are thousands of stories which resonate within this “isolated” story of mine. I have read and heard them with my own eyes.
I say this bc I have also heard “I’m sorry you had that experience.. my mlm company/upline is not like that.” If you’re “working” for an mlm, and you’re not getting a paycheck unless you purchase mandatory MONTHLY product AND recruit people to do the same exact thing and “duplicate yourself” (another fun mlm term used in “leadership””…. ..then yes..it is like “that.” Your upline just might be less mean girl adjacent and better at lovebombing.

Also… Google BITE model. Alllllll of this and more was utilized on me in Beachbody.
Thanks for reading my not thesis/ thesis.

I hope to dabble more on facebook/word press I’m dipping my toe back in with a long one….

No.

I used to be scared to say “No” to people because it made me feel negative, unhelpful, uncaring, ungrateful, selfish. (as defined by my childhood.)

I lost money, countless hours and most importantly – the healthy mental/emotional space in my rave-party of a brain.

I lost friends.

I lost my purpose.

I lost myself.

I signed up to “run my own business,” because I desperately wanted to contribute financially in my family.

I gave money to charitable causes.

I became deeply involved in codependent writing groups, where I spent hours a day sharing other peoples’ work in hopes, it would boost my “virtual optimization.”

I signed up for service work out of obligation to my own sobriety and sobriety of my peers. I was told my service to others would help me get out of my over-powering sense of self.

I was told that forgiveness and gratitude would break my steely gripped chains of pain and overbearing grief-ridden anxiety.

Are these all true statements?

Yes and No!

Are these messages that are intrinsically positive and beneficial? Yes and Conversely, they can be used to tap into the guilt vault of shame and low self worth..intentionally and unintentionally.

If you are a trauma survivor had difficulty developing your emotional sense of well-being as a child, it’s almost engrained to say “Yes”, to activities that may negatively affect your mental health.

All under the guise of DESPERATE hope/activities/memberships/ products…….will improve it.

Being told how to “fix” yourself from saying “yes” to others.. can be treacherous waters if we are doing it for the “wrong” reasons. (guilt. validation. Self-serving ego. Importance. Grief. )

Being told to put someone elses’ ________ in front of your ______, can be a message that gets lost in the message.

How does this happen? A seemingly positive intention from one turns into a loss for another ? …..Because we said “Yes” when we really needed to say “No.”

Something so incredible complex as “servant leadership” or “helping humanity” or “livelihood ” has a very simple answer.

Say “No” and mean it.

Why we say “Yes” to harmful activities:

You might be trying you reinvent and re-ignite yourself.

When people use vulnerability and insecurity to get us to say “YES!”, we see a glimpse of hope into healing our pain. Instead, it grows exponentially sideways ….and subconsciously.

You are masking the pain with your ego and need to feel validated in your lifes’ pursuits.

In some cases, powerful and controlling people seek out the vulnerable. You will encounter these types of people in the most unexpected of places.

Churhes. Schools. Fellowship Gatherings. And yes, even family.

Ask yourself.. “Am I doing this for validation, approval, obligation or because I feel completely lost, anxious and maybe depressed?”

If you answer YES, to any of these questions..then say “No” to whatever it is being asked of you..even if ________( insert whatever vulnerable genome is overriding the “NO” in your swirly codependent brain genome sequence !!)

The “warning” statements/places , I made above, are NOT all evil or inherently manipulative. It is with caution, people (like myself) who are naturally empathetic and have experienced life altering tragedies, need to wear an extra layer of emotional gear that allows us to say “No!.”

Healthy food, exercise and supportive friends, fellowship/churches and saying YES..are instrumental in our journey and our lives.

They are not a replacement for healing from trauma and mental illness.

They are not a replacement for healthy solitude.

They are not a replacement for self-care.

Why am I so passionate about a word that society deems as negative and selfish?

Because The “say YES!” ads in my feed(s) , are blowing up!!:

– “Buy my program and you’ll never,ever, ever evah have any finanical worries EVAH again ”

– “Sign up for my wellness coaching plan and you will be free from emotional-fat and good ole’ fashioned Crisco-fat.”

– “Are you a stay at home parent? Well, surely you’re bored as hell, so why not spread that fresh hell to your friends by selling them eye- lashes and nutritional shakes?” (I did it, so relax on feeling persecuted)

“Is your life a LIVING NIGHTMARE, don’t worry. (Insert a variety of emogees) I’ve got a webinar for that. Sign up for my life-coaching series and then you’ll never hear from me again. EVER. In fact, you’ll have a nervous breakdown trying to cancel the autopay for this program.”

Obviously. I exaggerated advertising slogans, just a tad, Thad.

Its not all bad. But it is absolutely overwhelming. Especially with 24/7 information at our fingertips.

MY all time fave “ad that’s not an ad but really is an ad.”. .celebrities without makeup, telling us not to be depressed by “it”.. selling themselves (and businesses) through their back-handed humility:

…” because I’m a celebrity, NOT wearing makeup and LOOK AT MY PORES. I KNOW RIGHT? I DON’T HAVE ANY!!..Don’t be depressed by my Poreless-flawless make-up free-face. It’s genetics and wildly unattainable. Please don’t get depressed about it mm-kay? I’m 5’9″ and my size 2 “genes” won’t allow me to gain muscle weight okay? So pray for MY struggle and stay gratuitously positive …you ungrateful plebeians!!”

I digress.. in hyperbole again.

A pore-less celebrity can’t ” fix these feelings of ______ “, with tummy tea.

No one can fix that, except you. (And for me ..my Faith in something bigger than myself)..And dogs… Which is God spelled backwards..but spiritual talk is not my wheelhouse and people get really angsty about “it.”

External factors such as, weight loss, material things, a new significant other, your gorgeous kids, or a gallon of rosė or ice cream cannot heal pain

“So what Elle-jaying, are you saying?? We should be a cynical naysayer to protect our feelings ???”

No!!

We should partake in all/any of the above, as it helps builds our self-esteem , love for life and ourselves! .. However, if the feeling goes from a temporarily euphoric high to a thunderously crashing low..it might be time to reassess what we are doing to heal.

So my message is clear as a poreless celebrity screaming AT you from her Malibu beach house to NOT BE DEPRESSED !!

You should absolutely drink the tea, and say YES to all the wonderous opportunities in life.

Unless.. you are running to the bathroom/washroom/powder room, from that damn tea. Then. say. “NO”. to that. Tea.